I did conflict style test in the course, characteristics and skills of development practice in the beginning of April. I answered the questions according to my recent experience, not really my most likely behavior, thereby the result showing that I was high avoiding and accommodating.
Three days ago I did the test again, however, the result was totally different this time. I answered questions truly based on my most likely behaviour. While I face conflicts, I am really a high competing, high comprising, low avoiding, and low accommodating person.
I know this time, it truly reflects who I am cos I know it is difficult to change my mind when I decide to do sth. In particular, I already have a certain degree of strong believe in some goals with long time. However, I may change my decision only when somebody can convince me his or her ideas.
Another reflection....
今晚時間沒到，突然驚醒的我，突然覺得我為何就讓機會跑走了。還是說我有強迫症，喜歡在壓力下成長。我真的後悔這次我的愚笨及慢半拍，因我的programme director建議我不要找學院的頭頭當論文的指導教授，他說因為stressful, 但我們學院的頭明明就是我dissertation topic的專家.
在一開始的我沒想過有那樣的機會找學院的頭當指導教授，確實也害怕因為這樣，我會天天睡在ALB. 但就在結束完與學院頭的conversation後，我確實真的很想試試，因為光是一次不到30分鐘的conversation及我簡單的一頁pre-porposal ,他就可以看出我的dissertation內容的深度，知道我的perspective, 他引導了我接下來該怎麼做，而不是告訴我, I am doing well, 這是我確實需要的！
我並不是個害怕壓力的人，但我害怕我真的無法達到我想要的。
現在的指導教授人極好，但我卻不覺得這真的是對我好的，因為我是個想要不斷成長的人，而不是一個只期望別人稱讚我的人。
有時候別人的評論對我很重要，這不是因為我能學著順從別人的期望，而是從別人對我的觀感中，重新反思自我，找到自已心中的方向。
我想這首歌真的唱出我的心情。
